Hello,
Sometimes when I am dreaming, I have tried the finger pulling method or jumping and I realize I’m in a dream. However, I know I’m not conscious because I don’t do the things I would be doing in the astral plane if I had the chance. Sometimes in my dreams, I start thinking the way I do while awake, telling myself I’m noticing certain things about myself, etc, but I don’t realize I’m dreaming. In even worse cases, every single time I have a nocturnal emission, in the dream I’m convincing myself it’s not that bad to indulge. Like, luring myself, hypnotizing myself. In my dreams I know it’s wrong and I tell myself to, it’s almost direct blasphemy as I acknowledge everything I know and go against it. And when I wake up, I have so much remorse. I do pranayama, sometimes I have been successful in stopping it but not always. I feel horrible. I would never allow an emission willingly again, but in my dreams I’m choosing to even if I know it’s wrong.
I guess my question is, why do I seem like I know certain things in my dreams but am not truly awake? Is this a reflection of my “awake” state? Is it all superficial and I’m not having success being conscious?
I really need help. I have an immense longing to help the people in my life so I need to do much work but I feel like a failure up until now. I will be doing the melon seed remedy but I don’t know where to start on comprehending lust. I thought I was doing okay with it since my dreams don’t usually have lustful images but I will keep searching. I will keep observing myself throughout the day and trying to consciously astral project.
Thank you as always.
Sometimes when I am dreaming, I have tried the finger pulling method or jumping and I realize I’m in a dream. However, I know I’m not conscious because I don’t do the things I would be doing in the astral plane if I had the chance. Sometimes in my dreams, I start thinking the way I do while awake, telling myself I’m noticing certain things about myself, etc, but I don’t realize I’m dreaming. In even worse cases, every single time I have a nocturnal emission, in the dream I’m convincing myself it’s not that bad to indulge. Like, luring myself, hypnotizing myself. In my dreams I know it’s wrong and I tell myself to, it’s almost direct blasphemy as I acknowledge everything I know and go against it. And when I wake up, I have so much remorse. I do pranayama, sometimes I have been successful in stopping it but not always. I feel horrible. I would never allow an emission willingly again, but in my dreams I’m choosing to even if I know it’s wrong.
I guess my question is, why do I seem like I know certain things in my dreams but am not truly awake? Is this a reflection of my “awake” state? Is it all superficial and I’m not having success being conscious?
I really need help. I have an immense longing to help the people in my life so I need to do much work but I feel like a failure up until now. I will be doing the melon seed remedy but I don’t know where to start on comprehending lust. I thought I was doing okay with it since my dreams don’t usually have lustful images but I will keep searching. I will keep observing myself throughout the day and trying to consciously astral project.
Thank you as always.
Update (before instructor response):
I was reading through some forums searching for whether or not I can do pranayama while sick and I coincidentally came across a post in which someone asked about a dream where they are near a body of water and the instructor said this relates to the sexual waters of the Holy Spirit.
Now I am even more scared because in this dream I was on a bunk bed hovering over a tumultuous ocean and I told myself to lean back so I don’t fall and drown. When I leaned back I started telling myself how nice it would be to indulge in the spilling and I think I did, I’m not sure, I woke up from a sound in my home at that moment and I don’t remember if I had an emission or not. I did feel something physically though. Before this, I was helping my sibling (who was a baby) out of the water but I was relaxed and stayed even though I knew the dangers. Ignorant basically, or apathetic. I just hope I’m not too far gone. I suppose this means I saw the sexual waters in my dream and still chose to disregard everything I know. I knew it was wrong and like in every dream where I have an emission, I KNOW it’s wrong and I try to convince myself it’s not wrong. There was a lustful image in this dream (out on the water), which is not usual for me. Usually, like in this dream, it is a case of self-copulation or lamentably a succubi that looks like me trying to convince me.
I do not know if it is related but I got my menstruation later today and I did pranayama earlier when I had this dream. I don’t know if the process of menstruation already began at this point. Which leads to another question: What can I do when I have a nocturnal emission during my menstruation since pranayama is not permitted in this time?
I am really afraid, I know the doors of repentance are always open but I don’t know why this happens to me in my dreams. I feel so sorry in my “awake” hours. I hope that deep down I am repentant as well. But seeing as I am losing energy and haven’t been successful in consciously projecting, I’m not sure what to do. I am currently trying to comprehend what these dreams might be but I’m not sure I’m doing it correctly. So far I suspect they might be related to vanity/ insecurity. But the part where I know it’s wrong, I’m not sure.
Any help is appreciated. Thank you.
I was reading through some forums searching for whether or not I can do pranayama while sick and I coincidentally came across a post in which someone asked about a dream where they are near a body of water and the instructor said this relates to the sexual waters of the Holy Spirit.
Now I am even more scared because in this dream I was on a bunk bed hovering over a tumultuous ocean and I told myself to lean back so I don’t fall and drown. When I leaned back I started telling myself how nice it would be to indulge in the spilling and I think I did, I’m not sure, I woke up from a sound in my home at that moment and I don’t remember if I had an emission or not. I did feel something physically though. Before this, I was helping my sibling (who was a baby) out of the water but I was relaxed and stayed even though I knew the dangers. Ignorant basically, or apathetic. I just hope I’m not too far gone. I suppose this means I saw the sexual waters in my dream and still chose to disregard everything I know. I knew it was wrong and like in every dream where I have an emission, I KNOW it’s wrong and I try to convince myself it’s not wrong. There was a lustful image in this dream (out on the water), which is not usual for me. Usually, like in this dream, it is a case of self-copulation or lamentably a succubi that looks like me trying to convince me.
I do not know if it is related but I got my menstruation later today and I did pranayama earlier when I had this dream. I don’t know if the process of menstruation already began at this point. Which leads to another question: What can I do when I have a nocturnal emission during my menstruation since pranayama is not permitted in this time?
I am really afraid, I know the doors of repentance are always open but I don’t know why this happens to me in my dreams. I feel so sorry in my “awake” hours. I hope that deep down I am repentant as well. But seeing as I am losing energy and haven’t been successful in consciously projecting, I’m not sure what to do. I am currently trying to comprehend what these dreams might be but I’m not sure I’m doing it correctly. So far I suspect they might be related to vanity/ insecurity. But the part where I know it’s wrong, I’m not sure.
Any help is appreciated. Thank you.
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