Hello,
Sometimes when I am dreaming, I have tried the finger pulling method or jumping and I realize I’m in a dream. However, I know I’m not conscious because I don’t do the things I would be doing in the astral plane if I had the chance. Sometimes in my dreams, I start thinking the way I do while awake, telling myself I’m noticing certain things about myself, etc, but I don’t realize I’m dreaming. In even worse cases, every single time I have a nocturnal emission, in the dream I’m convincing myself it’s not that bad to indulge. Like, luring myself, hypnotizing myself. In my dreams I know it’s wrong and I tell myself to, it’s almost direct blasphemy as I acknowledge everything I know and go against it. And when I wake up, I have so much remorse. I do pranayama, sometimes I have been successful in stopping it but not always. I feel horrible. I would never allow an emission willingly again, but in my dreams I’m choosing to even if I know it’s wrong.
I guess my question is, why do I seem like I know certain things in my dreams but am not truly awake? Is this a reflection of my “awake” state? Is it all superficial and I’m not having success being conscious?
I really need help. I have an immense longing to help the people in my life so I need to do much work but I feel like a failure up until now. I will be doing the melon seed remedy but I don’t know where to start on comprehending lust. I thought I was doing okay with it since my dreams don’t usually have lustful images but I will keep searching. I will keep observing myself throughout the day and trying to consciously astral project.
Thank you as always.
Sometimes when I am dreaming, I have tried the finger pulling method or jumping and I realize I’m in a dream. However, I know I’m not conscious because I don’t do the things I would be doing in the astral plane if I had the chance. Sometimes in my dreams, I start thinking the way I do while awake, telling myself I’m noticing certain things about myself, etc, but I don’t realize I’m dreaming. In even worse cases, every single time I have a nocturnal emission, in the dream I’m convincing myself it’s not that bad to indulge. Like, luring myself, hypnotizing myself. In my dreams I know it’s wrong and I tell myself to, it’s almost direct blasphemy as I acknowledge everything I know and go against it. And when I wake up, I have so much remorse. I do pranayama, sometimes I have been successful in stopping it but not always. I feel horrible. I would never allow an emission willingly again, but in my dreams I’m choosing to even if I know it’s wrong.
I guess my question is, why do I seem like I know certain things in my dreams but am not truly awake? Is this a reflection of my “awake” state? Is it all superficial and I’m not having success being conscious?
I really need help. I have an immense longing to help the people in my life so I need to do much work but I feel like a failure up until now. I will be doing the melon seed remedy but I don’t know where to start on comprehending lust. I thought I was doing okay with it since my dreams don’t usually have lustful images but I will keep searching. I will keep observing myself throughout the day and trying to consciously astral project.
Thank you as always.